Lost Virtues
by TickleBoom76
Summary: "I Have The Worst Luck In The World!" Ginny is a victim of a terrible crime, Draco seems to have lost someone special, will some "therapy" help?
1. Innocence of a Crime

Have you ever wondered who would be your first love? Kiss? Or the person you would spend the rest of your life with? I have. I've always dreamed that I would fall in love with my Prince Charming, and without knowing, he would one day sweep me off my feet and take me to his enchanted kingdom. But as you can tell that doesn't really happen in reality. In reality you girl meets guy, girl and guy goes out, guy proposes, girl and guy have a family and live happily ever after. Ok 5% chance that your life could be a fairytale. But for me... it wasn't, it never has been and my guess is, it never will be. You see I believe I have the WORST luck out of the whole entire world. It's true, there was one time when I was 7 when I went to visit my brother, Bill, in Egypt, I was in a pyramid with my family and I guess I got side tracked by some of the markings on the wall, and I started to follow them and see where it led. I was so into the markings that I went deeper and deeper into the pyramid and I got lost, my family left me and I never noticed...they never noticed. They closed the pyramid and since it was a holiday, I was trapped in the Pyramid for 3 days, without food or water. When my family finally realized they forgot me, and went back, it was closed and when they finally found me I had fainted from dehydration and hunger. Then there was the chamber of secrets. I was in my second year at Hogwarts and a diary, once owned by Tom Riddle, or today known as Voldemort, possessed me. I was so naïve then, I wasn't strong as I am now. I didn't know from right from wrong... I never guessed that my life could be this cursed but it is! My story isn't a folktale, my story isn't legend, my story isn't as adventurous as the famous Harry Potter, my story never really had an ending, but my story is worth telling.   
  
  
  
My story begins when I was 16 years old, it was towards the end of summer and I was about to enter my 6th year at Hogwarts. Like ever other summer, I sat at home cleaning, reading, and finishing up my essays. My brother, Ron, was invited to Parvarti Patil's 17 birthdays party bash, and my mom made him take me, since all summer I've been doing nothing. So he did, he took me and once we arrived at the front door, he told me, "Don't bother me unless it's an emergency!" I nodded my head, I know he sounded mean, but I knew he still loved me, or so I thought so. When Parvarti opened the door and welcomed us, Ron gave me the signal to go away. SO I did, I thought I'd just go and sit down the whole night and wait till the party's over, if I even could find a seat. I remember loads of people came and it took 10 minutes just to get to one spot. I was trying to squeeze through these two people who were dancing and one of them pushed me because I was in the way. They pushed me so hard I fell to the ground and banged my head. I crawled backwards with my hands and when I hit the wall, I laid my head against it.   
  
2 hours later  
  
My head started to pound from the fall that I had taken, and not only that, but from the smoke and loud music inside the house. I could have sworn it was more of a rave than a party. I decided to go outside for some fresh air, but when I went outside, I didn't expect to see him. I was so sure I was over him, but somewhere in my gut knew I loved him. That's right my childhood crush, none other than the famous Harry Potter. I was right outside the door and I knew I could have gone back inside, but I couldn't breathe in that hellhole. When I looked closer I saw that he wasn't alone. He was sitting with someone on the fountain, laughing at a joke. I looked closer to see that it was the Ravenclaw seeker, or used to be now that she graduated from Hogwarts, Cho Chang. It was stupidest decision that I could have made, I decided to walk past them and see if he would say something to me, or even realized I walked by. So I did. I walked past him, and trust me making that decision caused a lot of events to happen, whenever there is a cause, there's always an effect.   
  
I was surprised he did say something, I tried really hard not to look at him and Cho, but his face was just so happy, it was happiest I have ever seen him.   
  
"Hey Gin!" I turned around, praying I wouldn't make a fool of myself.   
  
"Harry! HI!" I put on a big grin as I looked at his handsome face. My eyes traveled to Cho and I swallowed hard, "Hi...Cho."   
  
"Hey Ginny." She smiled happily. I couldn't help notice that Harry had his arm around her and she had her arm around his waist, as she leaned against his chest. Don't I wish that were I in her place.   
  
I could hear the music from inside the house, as we stood silent. Harry whispered something into Cho's ear and she nodded and took her hands off him and walked away, he watched her go and at that moment I knew he was in love with Cho Chang. When she finally disappeared he looked at me.  
  
"Hey look Gin, can you do me a favor?" he asked. I eyed him suspiciously, knowing I was going to regret what I was about to say.   
  
"Well it depends, what is it?" I asked.  
  
"Well..." he said nervously, "could you meet me at 'The Dragon Inn' at 10, its only a block away from here, and I wanted to ask you something." It felt like someone just shocked me as I widened my eyes.  
  
"Uh...yeah sure!" I said breathlessly. He put his hand over his heart, and breathed.  
  
"Oh good thanks! I was afraid you were going to say no!" I bit my lip as I looked at him, my eyes could tell I was so in love with him. Oh gosh! I really thought it was going to be the greatest day in my whole entire life! But how could it, I have the worst luck in the world. We said our goodbyes and I left to take a walk. I decided to go to The Dragons Inn and wait an hour, for Harry. I sat on a bench in front of the Inn as I sang to myself.   
  
1 Hour later  
  
"Ok!" I thought to myself. "He should be here any minute!" I was so nervous that I kept pacing and waiting for his arrival. I wonder what he was going to ask me?   
  
1 hour later  
  
"Ok there's a complete logical explanation why he isn't here! He could be talking to someone and lost track of time!" I thought. "Only Cho could do that!" I sighed again and a crossed my arms, holding myself. I didn't bring a jacket; I left it at the house, since it was so hot and humid in there.  
  
30 minutes later  
  
"Ok so what if he stood you up! You're too good for him anyway! I bet he's over at that party...snogging with...with" tears began to run down my face as I thought and pictured Harry and Cho kissing each other, and being happy! I new he wasn't coming so I started to walk back to Parvarti's house and wait till the party's over. I guess I was so lost in thought that I took a wrong turn and ended up at a dead end. It was a dark alley too and so I couldn't really see well. So when I figured out I was at a dead end I cursed and turned around. A man was standing right in front of me; he really scared me because I could feel his eyes on me. We stood there in silence; I tried to walk around him but he kept blocking me. I started to panic and I knew something bad was going to happen. I started walking backwards as he walked more closely towards me. I moved back so much that I was too the wall. The man, who was taller than I was, began to laugh; I was so terrified that I couldn't think.  
  
"Are you scared, sweetheart?" he asked me. I didn't say anything; all I could do was just stare. Since it was dark I couldn't see his face, but he smelled weird, a really bad stench, I think it was his breath.  
He made a sudden move and grabbed my arms, " I said are you scared!" he yelled.   
  
"Y...y...yes." I whispered and I could see from the dark that his lips curled into a cruel smile. Then that's when it happened, squeezed my arms tighter and threw me to the ground. He took out a pocketknife and ripped my shirt open, he started hitting me and kissing me every other moment. I squirmed as his lips touched mine, he would hit me more as he raped me more and more. I would have screamed, but he covered my mouth either with his hand or his lips. He touched me in certain places I would never let a man touch. I still remember praying to God asking him to let this soon be over. I kept telling myself that someone would find me and rescue me and they will put this guy in jail. I still can hear the laugh of the man you took away my dignity. I was helpless. He whispered in my ear during the rape, "Are you still scared." That's when I really started to cry, silent tears began to fall down my cheeks, I wanted to punch him, or even kill him, but I was weak and beaten up so bad that I fell in and out of consciousness, every minute. I didn't know who saved me but all I heard was a spell, with a mans voice.  
  
"Petrificus Totalus!" The full body bind, I thought, but the next thing I heard was, "Its ok, I'll get you to the hospital." My eyes didn't work so I couldn't see very well. I was so tired and weak and all bloody on my face, I just wanted to go home!   
  
  
  
A Couple Days later.   
  
The first thing I saw when I woke up was a white ceiling and someone was touching my hand. My head turned slightly and so did my eyes as they fell to a little plump woman who was asleep in a chair and was holding my hand.  
  
"Mom?" I said softly. She stirred and opened her eyes, and saw that I was looking at her. Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged me.  
  
"Oh Ginny! YOU'RE AWAKE! Oh thank God! Oh my precious! My precious!" My mom hugged me tightly and cradled me back and forth. I was too tired to respond to the hug. I just wanted to go home. When she pulled away from me I looked into her eyes that glistened with water.  
  
"Mom? What happened?" I couldn't believe what I just said. I already knew what happened, but I wanted it to be a dream, something I could wash away, something that would never come back to haunt me for the rest of me life.   
She looked away from me and sat down on the chair, I could tell the sadness from her face, the anger and despair. It took about a couple of minutes for her to talk but she finally said.   
  
"Ginny...honey..." she paused, it was hard for her to speak, I could see, " you were raped." It felt like the whole room began to spin, I was surprised that I didn't cry, I just sat there, completely overwhelmed. I really couldn't tell you what I was feeling, just lost and confused, but most of all... terrified.   
  
"Ginny, sweetheart-" I shot her a glare as I started to breathe hard.   
  
"Please don't call me that!" I said quickly. My mother just nodded without asking any questions.   
  
"Why don't you eat something, you've slept for two days!" She had a tray of food on the side of my bed, but I shook my head no.   
  
"I'm not hungry." I said.  
  
"But you must be starving I mean two days and your already skinny as a-"  
  
"I said I'm not hungry!" I snapped. My mothers face fell and I knew I hurt her feelings.   
  
"Then...you should get your rest." I could hear her choke back tears as she got up and left. I just turned over to my side, with my heads under my head and stared at the white wall, with blue flowers.   
  
All of a sudden, like lightning, a pain shifted in my head and I got flashes of me struggling out of the mans keep. Screaming inside for help, crying silent tears from my eyes. I still wake up sometimes screaming in my sleep, and crying asking someone to help me.   
  
A Few Hours Later  
  
My mother came back to my room to look after me, when I was drifting off to sleep; I heard someone come in my room and talked very softly and quietly so they wouldn't wake me. I could tell whom the voice belonged too, it was my brother Ron. I was still on my side and I shot my eyes opened. No one visited me except my mother.   
  
"How is she?" he asked my mother.   
  
"She's doing better, its just she wont eat!" My mother replied miserably.  
  
" It's all my fault, I should have been watching after her!" Ron said sadly.   
  
"It was no ones fault! The only person who should be blamed is the person who raped my daughter!" my mother replied in a livid tone.  
  
"Did they ever catch the man?" he asked.  
  
"No, not that I know of!" she sighed and ran her fingers through my hair. My eyes started to fill up with water. I just said to myself, "Don't cry, don't cry! Be brave be brave!"   
  
"Mum, I'm sorry! I'll never go to a party again! And I swear that I'll look after her more often! Especially when we go back to Hogwarts!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"Oh Ron, I'm so glad you're my son!" I could hear them moving and I figured they hugged.   
  
  
  
  
  
Going home was the hardest thing I ever had to do! I was resigned from the hospital, and was brought home, where I received a very cheerful greeting. My brothers Bill and Charlie came home to visit me and welcome me home from the hospital. The rest of my brothers decorated the house with balloons and banners. The banners flashed every other minute with the words Welcome Home Ginny, and We Love You. I felt really special, maybe too special but they gave me a lot of hugs and kisses, and flowers. When everyone was done with that, they all looked at me and I looked at them. I could feel every single eye on me; I had this feeling that they were going to ask me about the rape, so quickly I said:  
  
" I'm kind of tired, I think I'll go lay down!" I hurried off to my room where I saw loads of stuffed animals overflowing my bed. I couldn't help but smile. My luggage was already taken up to my room, so I decided to unpack. As I unpacked, I saw my brush, it was silver and the bristles were so soft to touch. I went to my mirror and brushed my hair. When I took a real good look at myself, I saw that I had a black eye, with cuts and bruises along with it. I paused from brushing my hair as I slowly lifted my hand and touched my cuts; I just stared in the mirror. A rush of anger filled through me, I got my brush and threw it at the mirror! It shattered into thousands of pieces. I fell to the ground and began to cry, I cried so hard I couldn't stop. I just laid on the floor hugging myself, crying for hours and hours. No one heard me cry, no one ever came to check up on me, so it made me cry harder and louder. How could I ever be myself again? How could I live anymore? How could my family just desert me? How could I make it through life being scared?   
  
  
  
  
A/N I hope you liked that chapter. I'm writing the second one. You'll see Draco in the next one. So don't worry, I really hope you like it and please review. OH and you should listen to Enya when you read this. I find it very soothing! I don't have much to say so... thanks for reading! 


	2. A Helping Hand

A/N Thank you for the reviews and thanks for reading. I hope you guys like it so far. Sorry if later on in the story I start to lack update or become lazy and don't write very well. Excuse it please! So please read again, and enjoy. OH and I don't own any of the characters, but I wish I did! (Don't we all!)  
  
  
There wasn't a night, when I didn't cry myself to sleep. There was a wound inside my soul that felt like it would never heal. It followed me wherever I went. Even though I try so hard to heal, my wound just keep getting deeper and deeper. I was so lost in my depression that I couldn't feel anything. I didn't know how to be happy or to be sad, or angry. It felt like all my emotions were lost and never could be found again and when I would go look for them something would block me and I'm push me back to a little dark corner. I was trapped inside myself; I couldn't see what was reality and what wasn't. I was lost in my own little world that no one could rescue me. How could I be myself again? How could I become the old Ginny Weasley? The problem was I couldn't, even if things were back to normal, I would still carry the wound that laid deep inside my soul.   
  
I returned back to Hogwarts for my 6th year. My parents had informed Dumbledore about my situation and asked him not to tell anyone and for him to check up on me every once in a while, just to see how I was doing. As for my brother, he kept his word, he was very protective of me and watched me every moment that he could. You know the funny thing about my life is that you would expect my parents to let me be a little independent. I've never really made a real choice of my own, well that is, one that would contain my future status. You see, a couple years back, during my school years, my parents decided I should become a nurse when I grew up! Bill, Charlie and Percy never had that problem because they were the oldest and it made my parents very proud of how much they succeeded. Well I can't say the same for Fred and George. Anyway like I said, a couple of years ago, during my school years, my parents decided that I should become a nurse. They signed me up for training sessions with Madam Pomfrey, so for the past 2 years I was her aid. But really! Do you think I wanted to become a nurse? I think you can answer that for yourself.   
  
I came in late one November day, from my training with Madam Pomfrey, because she asked me to stay and help brew up some more medicine. It was also the day we beat Slytherin in out first match of the season of Quidditch. As you know it's always a big thing with Slytherin and Gryffindor, Quidditch matches, whoever's the victor, is the best house. I walked in through the portrait hole and saw, everyone celebrating, with lots of Butterbeer and sweets. I ignored them and walked off to my room. I was so thankful that no one was in the girls' dormitory, because it gave me a chance to be alone. It was really dark in there so I kept bumping into things and falling down, when I finally made it to my bed and laid down on my side. I heard the door creak open and I quickly sat up and looked at the door. I could see the shape of the person closing the door. I began to panic because the last time I couldn't see a person, and was dark; it led to very serious matters.   
  
I opened my bag and grabbed my wand. My heart started to pound as I saw the shaped figure walking towards me, but when I heard someone call, "Ginny?" I squinted my eyes and called out, " Ron?"   
  
"Yeah its me." He said softly. He was looking down at me as he hid in the shadows. I could see the outline of his body.  
  
"You scared me!" I put my hand over my heart and put my wand down beside my bed.   
  
"Where were you?" he asked softly. I looked at him perplexed and put my hand over my head.  
  
"Oh I was helping Madam Pomfrey, she asked if I can stay a little later than usual, so I can help brew up some more medicine. You know cold seasons here!" I gave a small laugh and quieted down seeing that Ron didn't take it as a joke. Ron stepped forward as the moonlight hit his face and I could tell he looked very mad and disgruntled.   
  
"Don't lie! Tell me the truth! Where were you?" he yelled. I was taken aback. Why would I lie about something like that? He knew me and I would never lie to him.  
  
So I repeated again, "I told you I was with Madam Pomfrey fixing up some more-"   
  
  
  
  
SMACK  
  
  
He slapped me. He slapped me so hard that I fell to the ground; I lifted up a shaky hand and laid it over my cheek. Ron had never done anything that outrageous before. He never abused me, he was never that kind of brother who would hurt there little sister, not until today at that very moment, and he became another criminal. We stood silent for a couple of minutes. I slowly lifted up my head to look at Ron and I was glad to see his eyes widened, looking at his hands as if they were going to kill him.   
  
"Oh my god! Ginny I'm so so-" I got up from the ground and began to run, run, run, run and run. I didn't know where I was going; just anywhere my feet led me. I was surprised my feet led me to the lake. I hardly went outside at night, but right now was just real nice, just to get away from everything. I knelt on the floor crying softly, so no one could hear me, but inside I was crying up a storm. I hugged myself tightly and prayed, to God.  
  
"Oh God help me! Help me! I'm so scared! I cant live anymore, I just want to die!" I slowly began to leave my tears and just let the wind dry my tears. When I actually took a good look around I saw there was a tree, and a big one too, with a lot of branches for you to climb and was there was grass with a little slope where it led to the lake. I looked at the lake, it was so gentle, quiet and very beautiful at night. Especially when the moonlight hit the water. I put my hand in the water and waved it back and forth. I took it out and watched the echoes of the wave expand and wash away. I felt so peaceful here. I laid against the tree and closed my eyes and breathed in fresh air.   
But something distracted me, which I couldn't ignore. I heard some soft moans and splashing of water. I got up and looked over the tree as I tried to hide myself. I saw two people in the water kissing as there hands were around each other. I also couldn't help notice that they were naked. The good thing was that it was dark so I couldn't see their bodies. I felt so alone, I've never had someone to hold me, or kiss me. I hated my life.   
  
I leaned in closer trying to see who it was, when my bad luck started to act up again. It was slippery against the tree that leaned forward towards the water. I guess it was mud that I stepped on, because whatever it was made me slip and fall, and if you think that was bad. My fall led me to the water. I held my breath as I made a big splash. I went down towards the bottom, and then swam back up. When I was above the water, I coughed and pushed my hair out of my face.   
  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" I turned around and saw two people standing on the grass, in complete shock. Then I realized it was Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. Then I realized it was them having sex in the water. (A/N Ewwww...gross!) Draco was only wearing pants and had a towel over his shoulders, without a shirt as Pansy was just wearing a towel, covering her whole body. I felt so ashamed that I was ruining a very special moment between them. Bet then again, it was Draco Malfoy we're talking about here. He was such a player, but ever since 6th year, when he started dating Pansy he became very faithful to her.   
  
"I...I...well...I was just...-" I looked away from him, as I blushed, "thank god for nighttime." I thought.   
  
"Spying on us?" he asked coldly. I didn't say anything because I was so embarrassed. It started to get cold and I was still in the water. I pouted and slowly turned the other way and swam to the other side and got out and walked to them. I could feel both of their eyes on me. I was drenched and cold; I looked at them, as we faced each other.   
  
"No...I wasn't spying on you. I didn't even know you were out here...well you know!" I stood and glanced at him. I hugged myself, tightly around my waist and shivered. "I'm sorry." I added quietly.   
  
He looked closer at me and smirked, "You're a Weasley!" he exclaimed. I looked at him and nodded, as he began to laugh. I could also see Pansy giggling behind him.   
  
" What's so funny?" I asked. I knew some serious teasing was going to happen. It was in his nature to make fun of someone before he left.   
  
" Isn't your pesky brother worried about you? You shouldn't be out here by yourself little girl!" I looked down, and breathed in and out hoping tears weren't going to come out, at least not in front of Malfoy. I know I shouldn't feel sorry for Ron, especially after what he did to me, but it wasn't in my nature to not care about anybody. I love Ron and I always will, but I had to stand up for what I believe in... even if I stand-alone.   
  
" Don't you tease my brother and I'm not a little girl!" This made Draco laugh harder. "He would always be that little greedy, stuck up little boy." I thought. "He would never know grief, or even to care about anything." I was really wrong to think that because everyone has a heart, and everyone has a soft spot. I turned and began to walk, but he stopped me.  
  
"Where do you think your going, Weasley!" he growled.   
  
" I'm going back to my dormitory!" I said.  
  
"Before you go, I have something to tell you!" I looked at him as his eyes grew soft, he waved me over to him, "Come over here I want to tell you something!" I was very confused, but my feet began to walk towards him. He kept waving me towards him and when I finally was right in front of him. He pushed me to the ground.  
  
" I SWEAR IF YOU EVER INTERUPT ME IN SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! I'LL HURT YOU!" He yelled. I was beginning to shake, not from the cold, but from fear. He reminded me of my rapist and the way he said his words.   
  
"Now if you don't mind, me and Pansy have some finishing business to do, in my room!" He walked over me and had his hands around Pansy.  
  
I was so scared, but then fury overtook me, I did something that Ginny Weasley would never do, I talked back to him. "Bet every girls been in your room!"   
  
He stopped and turned to look at me, "Yes! That's true...every girl but...you!" he said, crazily. Pansy shot him a glare. He looked at her and said to her, "I Love you!" she smiled and kissed him. It felt like a knife went right through my heart when I heard those words. I wanted someone so bad, someone to love like Malfoy did to Pansy.   
  
"Of course I haven't and I never will! You're so...indifferent and ruthless. I can't believe that tramp even likes you!" I pointed to Pansy and his eyes grew enraged. I was really happy that I made him mad, because I've never talked back to anyone before. I was on a roll.  
  
" Hey!!! You leave Pansy out of this!" Draco pushed Pansy behind him and he stepped forward.  
  
"You're just jealous!" he said. I burst out laughing. Never in my whole life would I be jealous of Pansy Parkinson.  
  
"Of her!?" I laughed.  
  
"No...of me!" I stopped laughing, and sighed. I guess the truth really, is because I really WAS jealous of him. He had everything. The looks, the charm, the sarcasm, the money but most of all he had someone to love. I was nothing like him...well not the gender but our lives. Two completely different lives, which we live.   
  
"You even stopped laughing! Don't you wish that you were in my place right now! I have everything you ever wanted, the looks, the charm... and the money! I bet you can't even afford to get a life! You're a nobody and you'll always will be. " I felt myself go red. I didn't want to start crying in front of him, but my eyes filled up with water.  
  
"Aww...is poor little Weasel gonna cry!" he scoffed. He was beginning to walk away but stopped and looked at me again.   
  
"Oh and next time if your gonna come up with a comeback...makes sure it's a good one!" and walked off with his arm around Pansy.   
  
  
  
  
Awhile after he left I went back up to the castle. I was really depressed and I really didn't realize I was making a mess as I walked. The water from the lake was dripping from my hair and robe.   
  
"Miss Weasley! What on earth are you doing out this late!?" I looked behind me and saw Professor McGonagall striding towards me. "Oh man I'm gonna get it!" I thought.  
  
"Professor! I'm sorry I was just...I was...-" I couldn't think of a excuse I was so washed out that I couldn't think.   
  
" Jumping into the lake?" she examined me and I saw my robes were dripping water.   
  
"Professor please I have-" I began but a voice from behind Professor McGonagall saved my life.   
  
" Special Privileges." I looked behind Professor McGonagall and saw Professor Dumbledore standing behind her with a grin on his face.   
  
"Special Privileges? She does?" McGonagall asked.   
  
"I do?" I asked. He nodded cheerfully.   
  
"Yes don't you remember Miss Weasley." He said and winked at me. I was very baffled that he would get me out of trouble like that, but very grateful.   
  
" Oh yes! I remember...I do! I just forgot, to tell you Professor!" I said as I looked at McGonagall.   
  
"Well, if you have 'special privileges' then you're off the hook! Miss Weasley...Professor Dumbledore!" and she walked away. I sighed in relief and looked at Dumbledore.  
  
" Thank you so much Professor. I really thought she had me!" I said.   
  
"Don't worry about it Ginny. Just don't make it a habit. I could understand that everyone wants to get out sometimes and be alone." I nodded in knowing in what he talked about.   
  
"So do I really have Special Privileges?" I asked. He laughed.  
  
"We'll talk later! But for now, you better get back up to your dormitory and change...you don't want Mr. Filch to catch you!" I nodded and ran back to Gryffindor Tower.   
When I entered the common room I saw Ron sitting on a chair his head in his hands. He looked up and saw me.   
  
"Oh GINNY!" he ran towards me about to give me a hug but I moved away from him.  
  
"Ginny?" He said softly. I didn't want to hear him; I didn't want to see his face. I couldn't stand the humility and anger. If only he was I and he could feel what I've been through, he just had to make it worse by slapping me!  
  
"Ginny...I'm so sorry!" I just looked at him with pity and ran off to my room where I cried myself to sleep.   
  
  
  
The next couple of weeks I kept away from Ron, I couldn't forgive him for slapping me. I couldn't forgive him, for being too overprotective of me, and not believing me when I told him the truth.   
"So that would make it two people now!" I thought one day. First it was Ron and second was Harry. After that one night, he stood me up; I never really talked to him again. I couldn't meet his eyes, whenever he said hello, or something. If I was in one room, and he came in, I would get up and leave.   
  
  
Ever since my encountering with Malfoy and Pansy, down by the lake, I couldn't help but look at them every time they past by me, holding hands, or making out. I couldn't help noticing of how much they were in love. It was disgusting. I couldn't look at them anymore. I'd wish they would break up, they were just so sick!!! But you know what they say, be careful what you wish for.   
"Malfoy was right, I am a nobody and I'll always will be!" I thought as I stirred a potion. I was making some more medicine for some kid who was barfing up his guts. Madam Pomfrey wasn't at my presence, she was gone for a couple of hours now, she said she had a VERY urgent call and to stay here and watch everything. It was about 10 when Madam Pomfrey came back, she looked very tired and sad, and I didn't think anything of it  
  
"OH! I almost forgot! Ginny dear?" I turned from the potion and looked at her.   
  
"Yes?" I asked.  
  
"Would you mind going to Dumbledores office and ask him if he wants all the first years to have a check up." I nodded and I began to walk away when she called out again.  
  
"Oh and Ginny!" I looked at Madam Pomfrey. "The password's Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans." I nodded again and walked to the statue and said, "Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans.' I walked up the stairs and heard Dumbledore talking.  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy, I really am, but its too late, there's nothing we can do!" I didn't realize it was something serious; I just knocked and walked in. I saw Malfoy slouching in his chair with his hand over his eyes, and was crying. I didn't want to stare, but seeing Malfoy cry was something you just don't see every day.   
  
"Yes Miss Weasley?" he asked from behind his desk. I looked away from Malfoy and gazed at Dumbledore, when I looked at him, I couldn't help notice that he looked distraught and very tired.  
  
"Oh yes! Umm...Madam Pomfrey wanted me to ask you if you wanted all the first years to get a check up?" I said, from the side of my eyes I could see Malfoy shaking, and sniffling.   
  
"Ahh...yes, I remember her telling me about that." He said thoughtfully. "Tell her we'll do one house every week." I nodded and walked towards the door. When he called my name out again. This is where it started; this is where my journey began.   
  
"Actually, yes! Miss Weasley! Could you come back here for a moment?" he asked, I didn't know what he was up to but I knew it was something because he had a mischievous look in his eyes. I went over to him and he pointed to outside of his office.  
So I stepped outside his office and he did so too. He closed the door and smiled at me.   
  
"How's it going Miss Weasley? Is everything ok?" he asked.  
  
"Great. Everything's great!" I said, "What a big lie!" I thought as I kept a cheerful face. "Actually, I got top marks in my Potions class!"   
  
He laughed, "That's very good, considering not everyone passes in Professor Snape's class!" There was a slight pause when I asked, "You didn't come out here to ask me how I was doing, did you?"   
  
"Well...yes and no!" he said. He took a deep breath and looked at me very seriously.  
  
"You're probably wondering why Mr. Malfoy was crying inside my office." He said. I cowered down a little.   
  
"Well...I...I...didn't want to say anything...but-"   
  
"Its ok Miss Weasley, being curious is not a crime." He said. It made me feel better when he said that. I really admired Dumbledore; he really did encourage me a lot and made me feel better about myself.   
  
"Like I said, your probably wondering why Mr. Malfoy is crying in my office!" I nodded slightly as my cheeks burned red. Oh boy I was so gonna get him! At least that's what I thought, but when Dumbledore told me...why he was crying, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.  
  
"You see Miss Weasley, I'm afraid that we have lost one of our students!" he said very sadly. I enlarged my eyes. No student had died 3 years, and that person was Cedric Diggory. I thought as my heart sank.  
  
"Who?" I asked breathlessly.  
  
"Miss Parkinson." He said shortly.  
  
"Pansy?!" I gulped and began to shake. I felt a sudden pity for Malfoy. I knew him and Pansy were close and in love. I just never thought that she would die. Of all the people in the whole entire school, it was Draco Malfoy's love and companion. I looked at the door and swallowed hard.   
  
"How did she..." I couldn't bring myself to say the word. I tried to spit it out and just say it but thank god for Dumbledore.   
  
" She was found laying on the floor in the bathroom. I don't know how she died. She could've fainted and hit her head and died, but I don't know Miss Weasley. I really don't know!" I looked at Dunbledore again, and even though it wasn't a good time to ask, I did.  
  
"But what does this have to do with me? I mean I know you told me because I saw him crying it's just...well-"   
  
" I see what you're trying to say Miss Weasley. I know that Mr. Malfoy can be very...uh...cruel sometimes." I nodded my head in agreement. "and I know that you and your families aren't very forthcoming with each other." I didn't know what he was talking about, or what he was going to say, but I had a feeling that I was going to be needed.  
  
"Professor...where is this going?" I asked.   
  
"I know you and Mr. Malfoy haven't really had a good year and I know your very strong Miss Weasley and its one of the traits as a Gryffindor, but right now Mr. Malfoy needs someone to talk to and maybe a friend!" I choked on my saliva and opened my mouth.  
  
"What? Be Malf'oys friend?" I asked. Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"But...but...Professor! I...I...well...what do you want me to do? I mean I know Malfoy would never in his whole entire life be my friend!" I replied.   
  
" I know, right now he's not going to want to talk to anyone, but I would just like you to try and talk to him 2 days a week." My eyes grew wider and my mouth was shaped as an O.   
  
" What? Like...like therapy?" I asked. Dumbledore hinged a little and said. "No...not therapy, more like helping out a friend who's in trouble right now. You two have a similarity Miss Weasley, you both have just been a victim of a crime and you both lost something. So I think it would be good for both of you. Especially since you two are from different houses. I think it will be a great chance to get you to know each other much better!"   
  
I didn't know what to say! I didn't want to tell Dumbledore that I didn't want too and I definitely didn't want Malfoy to fall in the same position as me. I knew what it felt like to be lost and I didn't want it to happen to anybody, not even Malfoy.   
"Besides, maybe helping out someone would be good for me! Maybe this is some good in what I can do!" I thought.   
  
"So do you agree?" he asked me.  
  
I nodded my head, really unsure if I should do it, but I just kept telling myself "Some good will come out of it!"   
  
"Trust me Miss Weasley...you won't regret this!" If I had known he was right then I wouldn't have been so scared, but since I couldn't tell the future.   
  
"I hope not!" I muttered as I turned around to leave, but like every one else they stopped me.   
  
"OH and Miss Weasley. Go to the room right beside the DADA classroom, tomorrow at 2:00, there you'll have your sessions!" I nodded again, and gradually walked down the stairs and into my dormitory.  
  
  
I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and if things never did happen for a reason then there wouldn't be expectation, or hope. I couldn't tell you how scared I was to try and help someone out, but just put it this way. It was what Harry had told me one day, "What will come will come...and I would have to meet it one day."   
  
  
  
  
  
A/N I hope you like it so far. Sorry I took so long to update. I just had to write it and it took a lot of thinking. I tried to make Draco really mean, but I'm not sure if I did a great job of it! I wanted to make him a little bit meaner and I couldn't find anything for him to say. But other than that please review! (Oh yeah I haven't put Hermione in it yet, but she'll appear soon!) 


	3. Everything Goes Wrong

A/N Sorry for the lack of update. I've been busy, I have to take a very, very, very, very, very, important test and I have to dedicate my time to studying! I know it sucks, but its really, really important. May affect my future! But anyway, I hope you enjoyed the last chapters. I hope you'll enjoy this one too.  
  
  
Love? What is the exact meaning of such a word? Adore, worship, care for, affection, find irresistible are all used to describe this one word that affects so many people, and gives them desire to be a better person or a feeling of content. To love someone is to have strong affection for another, affection based on sexual desire, a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion, unselfish loyal and compassionate concern for the good of another. Some people have never actually experienced love, because they're to weak to seek it or sometimes it just falls on their lap, without any warning. Like in my story, it sort of happens both ways. You'll find love when you least expect it, but then again you want it so badly, but heck what would I know! I'm just a girl who has the worst luck in the world!   
  
I woke up early the next morning feeling all groggily and a pinch of sadness. (I'd been waking up feeling like that lately) For some reason the day before felt like if it was a dream, more like a nightmare. Finding out that Pansy had died was a really bombshell. Never had I ever expected such a disaster. I could only think of what Malfoy must have been feeling. Then it hit me. I forgot that that day I was going to be Malfoys "friend". " More of a therapist!" I thought.   
  
I went down for breakfast seeing that it looked very gloomy. This hadn't been this dark since Cedric's death. I could see the Slytherin table was quieter than usual and I didn't blame them. I suspected that Dumbledore hadn't told the rest of the students because they seemed normal, but baffled of the sense of sadness. I sat down and making sure it wasn't next to Harry or Ron. I sat surprisingly next to Colin Creevey; he just smiled at me and went back to eating when I sat next to him. I could see Ron trying to get my attention by coughing real loudly. "Like that's gonna get my attention you big oaf!" I thought as I grabbed a toast and nibbled on it. A few minutes later Dumbledore stood up and looked down at his pupils.   
  
" I imagine that your all wondering why today is quieter than usual." He spoke, everyone nodded and listened very carefully. " It seems that this day reminds you of another time we had 3 years ago, when a disastrous event had occurred when Hogwarts held the Triwizard Tournament!" Every began to whisper and I could hear some words like "You-Know-Who" and "Cedric Diggory" but they didn't know who it was and no one could of guessed. I sat there in my spot looking down at the crumbs from the toast feeling nausea.   
  
" Some of you may remember it very well what happened, and some of you weren't even around. I'm very sad to say that we have lost another one." Every one now began to have uproar, but Dumbledore but up his hand to calm things down. " This death wasn't an act of Voldemort being. Although this death cannot be identified as a homicide or an accident, but please have a moment of silence for, Pansy Parkinson. She was a very special girl to some people," I looked up at Malfoy, I could see him breathing fast trying to hold back tears. I wished that no one could ever feel sadness or suffering, but then again without suffering there would be no compassion.   
  
" Some of you might have known her very well, some of you might have never had a chance to get to know her but right now I would like you all to stand and raise your glasses, to Pansy Parkinson." Every one stood up and in a low mumble they said, "Pansy Parkinson"   
  
  
"You'll make it through! You'll make it through!" I kept saying to my self as it was now 1:55 and I got to get out of class early! (Thank God because I remember it was Potions class) So now I walked down the corridors and past the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom and before I knew it I was standing in front of a door that I have never seen in my entire life. "Deep breathes Ginny, deep breathes!" I inhaled, exhaled as I opened the door gingerly. I stepped in the room and closed the door and looked around. It was sort of like Dumbledore's, it was just as circular as his and had walls covered with books (I had no idea why!). It was a solitary room, but then it again it was isolated, with no windows. When I finished examining the room I noticed it had two leather armchairs, one with a small table next to it and the other was occupied with a boy with blonde hair that was usually slicked back but now was all sticking up from every other place of his head. It was none other than, Draco Malfoy.   
  
I walked towards the vacant seat and sat down- putting my book bag at the side of my chair and laid my hands in my lap. I looked at Malfoy and saw him staring at the books at the wall, with his thumb to his lips; he looked very tired and had dark circles under his eyes and was insipid. There was silence for about a minute, I was shocked that with a mouth like his he never said anything.   
  
" Hi...Malfoy. As you probably know...and could tell...I'm Ginny Weasley." I gave a small laugh but didn't he look at me, he just stayed motionless staring at the wall of books.   
  
"Firstly, I wanted to say how truly sorry I am about Pansy. I know how close you two were. I can never really imagine losing someone close to me, like one of my brothers or my mum. " he gave a small, "Hmph!" still staring at the wall, but I continued, "You know if you ever want to talk to someone, I'm always here. I always will be!" I could see somewhere in Malfoy's face he that I was being stupid, but I really meant it and I always will.  
  
" I...I know that it's hard right now, Malfoy, and it will be for sometime now, but it really will get better!" I said, " I promise!"   
  
I felt very childish because I was the only one talking and saying things that just slipped out of my mouth. The thing that really bothered me about Malfoy is that he wouldn't talk. I mean don't you hate it when its total silence between two people! It's very awkward, and I really can't stand it!   
  
"So! Is there anything you want to say?" I asked. I could see he didn't want to be here, and truthfully I didn't either.   
  
................................................................................   
  
  
  
"Well...umm.... how about I talk?" I cleared my throat and began to speak, "Uh...why don't I talk about myself then!" I looked at him waiting for an answer but nothing came. So I continued.  
  
"Ok...um.... I'm Ginny Weasley, like I said before, and I have 6 brothers...I think you know that too! Well first it starts with Bill," I have a small laugh, and continued, "Bill is...something, he works in Egypt you know, I've visited him a few times, its really wonderful there. Have you been to Egypt? Then its Charlie, he works with dragons in Romania. He was here for the Triwizard Tournament, have you seen him? He always comes home with scratches and bruises on his arms and face. What Dragons can do to you!" I found myself blabbering on and on about my family when I should have been making him talk, but I was so nervous that I didn't know what I was saying. " After Charlie it's the boring old Percy. Don't get me wrong, he could be exciting some times, when he's not grumpy or talking about work at the Ministry, or Penelope Clearwater, his girlfriend you know," I leaned forward to Malfoy who was still gawking at the books, and whispered, "I think he might actually propose very soon! Anyway then its Fred and George, those two are real troublemakers but they really are great! I love them both! There's no home without Fred and George and I really enjoy their entertainment. I remember one time when I was about six they had a magic show. They named themselves, The Funky Woozily Wheezes," I began to laugh softly as I heard Malfoy give a sigh. I continued, " They tried to pull a rabbit out of a hat when they took out my moms under garments. Boy was she mad! Then it's my other brother, which I'm pretty sure your acquainted with, Ron." I looked at Malfoy one more time and I saw him roll his eyes, in annoyance, but I continued, " Ron is...different, he is...very," I paused looking for the right words, " Overprotective, stubborn in some ways, and can be a pain in the ass sometimes but Ron. I mean I can't find the words to describe him. It's complicated. Well that's it! All my brothers, but then of course its me, the only girl in the Weasleys. You know I've actually thought of myself as-"  
  
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT HUH?" I gave an astonished look as he stood up from his seat looking very annoyed. " WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO DO? BECOME ONE OF MY FRIENDS? TRYING TO BECOME BUDDY-BUDDY WITH ME? YOU KNOW YOU COME IN HERE AND START PREACHING! BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LOSE SOMETHING SO SPECIAL!" I could feel the tension from him as his anger grew more and more each minute.  
  
"Well... I kind of d-"  
  
" JUST SHUT UP!! Just...shut up!" He threw himself back into his chair, and breathed in heavily.  
  
" I'm sorry. I...I just didn't know what to do, I mean I've never really helped someone like this before." I murmured. He shook his head and looked at me in pity.  
  
" Don't try and give me therapy because I don't need it. The only reason I'm here is because I get to cut class. So stop trying!" he snapped.   
  
"Oh well this isn't therapy, Dumbledore said-"  
  
" Dumbledore said, Dumbledore said, Dumbledore said, Dumbledore said, Dumbledore said to kiss my ass!" he said in a mimicking girly voice. "God I swear that man is the worst thing that ever happened to this school!"   
  
" What do you mean Dumbledore is the worst thing to have ever happen to this school!" I said softly. "He's the greatest thing that ever happened to this school! He's loyal and respectful and...really is a great man! How could you say such words!" He rolled his eyes and gave a stern face. Hard as rock and with no concern for others, he was off in his own little world.   
  
I looked up at Malfoy once more and thought how could I help someone who doesn't want to be helped. That is what destiny would bring.   
  
  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
The next day when I arrived in the unexplained room where Malfoy and I would have our "discussions", I found that he wasn't there yet. So I waited patiently. An hour past by and he wasn't there. I sat all alone waiting for his arrival but he never showed up. I wondered where he was, either still in class or skipping class and god knows where he is!   
  
I decided that I was should at least keep myself occupied by starting on my homework. A half an hour later went by and I just gave up I took my book bag and books and walked out the door, and walked back to my common room.   
  
The next few sessions were like that. He didn't show up and I was left all alone like I always, little Virginia Weasley left all by her self to cry and thwart every person in the world. I felt really disappointed in Malfoy. I guess it just wasn't meant to be! Right? Wrong! I woke up a few weeks later with a terrible headache. I looked at the time and I saw it was 8:05 and I shock up from my bed and grabbed my robes. I stumbled across the common room. (Which was empty by the way since everyone was in class.) I didn't see the couch as I walked/ran across the common room and I tripped and fell flat on my face, as I tried putting on my shoes. I got up and shook my head and exited the common room hastily feeling very grumpy and disturbed, as my head pounded with pain. I ran to my first class which was Potions, (Oof!) I was running so fast that my right foot got caught by my left foot and fell letting my book bag spill out my books and parchment with my ink bottles and quills. I rapidly picked myself up and grabbed my books and quills and all my other accessories and began running, again. I made it to potions 15 minutes late and got Snape in a really bad move.   
  
"3o POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape yelled, as I stood in front of my desk.   
  
"Now SIT down you silly girl and open your text book to chapter 13 and do the potion!" he snapped. I sat down and as I took out my accessories for Potions I spilled my cauldron, which had hot boiling water on the floor. "Oh God this is going to be a very bad day!" I thought as Snape yelled at me even more. I was wiping down the water as I caught some of his words, "STUPID CLUMSELY GIRL!" and " GOOD FOR NOTHING!" oh yeah and "YOU LOW DOWN PRAT!" I told myself that they were just words. Nothing else, but they weren't words, they were cruel, harsh words!   
  
Lunch came and I went back to the common room to see if I had any aspirin and I saw Ron and Harry sitting on two different chairs, talking. I came in and Ron tried to stop me, as I was still plenty mad at him for slapping me.  
  
"Hey Gin!" he yelled as I past him and just simply ignored him but he got up and stopped me before I even got to the stairway. He got right in front of me blocking the pathway.  
  
"WHAT DO YOU WANT RON!" I snapped as I wasn't in a very good mood and didn't want to talk.  
  
"Why wont you talk to me anymore and you don't talk to Harry either!?" I saw Harry nod his head, " Look are you still mad at me about that...uh...incident a few weeks ago?" Ron asked stupidly.  
  
"You know what Ron? What do you think!?" I snapped at him.   
  
" I think you're mad!" he said.  
  
"Oh GREAT JOB RON! 10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!!!!" I clapped my hands together and gave a simper.   
  
"Look I don't like your sarcasm! Now just talk to me!! PLEASE!!" he begged.   
  
"YOU WANT TO TALK!!? HUH? OK! LETS TALK!" I dropped my book bag and crossed my arms.   
  
" Well...err...I'm not sure if I want to talk to you when you're in a bad mood, maybe we should wait till you cool down!" Ron said softly.   
  
"God Ron!!! Your such a big baby!!!!" I threw up my hands and rolled my eyes.   
  
"Hey don't be so rough on him Gin, he's just trying to talk and make things better. At least he's trying to talk to you and didn't forget about you and leave you feeling miserable! Now if you were my sister I would try and help you, I would never forget about you or leave you feeling distraught! He's worried about you, cant you see? Give him a chance!"   
  
I looked at Harry in disbelief! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I can't believe that THE Harry Potter was saying this to my face after what he did to me! He obliviously forgot all about it!   
  
"FORGET?" I snapped, "FORGET? YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET ME AND NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?" I asked him drawing closer to him every second.   
  
"Well yeah!" he said. "Why?"  
  
" HARRY POTTER YOU ARE THE UTMOST JERK I HAVE EVER MET!" I screamed.  
  
"What? What did I do?" he asked. I opened my mouth, speechless. Here was my time!  
  
"You don't remember do you?" I asked. He shook his head baffled.  
  
"Are you sure?" I asked enraged. He nodded his head and looked at me very lost.   
  
"Why did I do something?" he asked. I started walk around him looking and examining him as I explained.  
  
" Let me refresh your memory! During the summer this year, in August! Parvarti Patil had a party! Do you remember that!?" I asked, he nodded and I went on, "Well I was there! DO you remember that!?" he nodded again, "Do you remember talking to me asking me a question?" he scrunched his eyebrows, still confused. Could he be that thick?!  
  
" 'Meet me at the Dragons Inn at 10'!" My eyes began to get watery and I tried to hold back my tears. I looked at him even deeper and fiercer than before. I could feel Ron's eyes on me. He shook his head.  
  
" I...I don't remember!" he said. I stopped circulating him and stomped my foot on the floor.   
  
"OH COME ON!!!! YOU WERE TALKING TO CHO AND YOU ASKED HER IF YOU COULD TALK TO ME IN PRIVATE!! I HEARD YOU WHEN YOU WHISPERED INTO HER EAR!!! WHEN SHE LEFT YOU ASKED ME TO MEET YOU AT THE DRAGONS INN AT 10, BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO ASK ME A QUESTION!!!" Tears began to drip from my face, not because of sadness but because of anger. He looked down at the floor, and I could tell he was thinking hard.   
  
"Ginny! Cut it out! He doesn't remember!" Ron said from behind.  
  
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS RONALD WEASLEY!" I shot back at him. Ron's eyebrows flew up, but I ignored it, and my eyes were back on Harry.   
  
"You were scared that I was going to say no!" I looked down at the floor, and said in a soft voice, "But how could I? It was you!" Harry shot up his head and looked at me wide eyed and swallowed hard.   
  
"OH MY GOD GINNY!!!" he stepped forward about to touch my shoulder but I backed away.  
  
"Ginny! I'm so sorry!" he said.  
  
I shook my head and looked at him with teary eyes, "You want to know what else Harry? Huh? You want to know something that will probably haunt you for the rest of your nights as it has for me! Huh?" he shook his head, as he put his hand in his hair. His chest was going up and down and I could see him shaking badly.   
  
"THAT WAS THE NIGHT I WAS RAPED! IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WAITING FOR YOU HARRY!! AND YOU NEVER SHOWED UP!!! IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WAITING FOR YOU!!!!! What I thought was supposed to be the best night of my life turned out to be the worst!" I choked on some tears, and I turned away running out from the common room carrying my bag with me. "I hope he was satisfied!   
  
  
  
  
  
I was thinking of not going to the session since I seriously doubted that Malfoy would be there but I needed some peace and quiet, from everything. My head was still pounding and I felt really irritable and annoyed. I just bomb shelled on Harry and Ron, letting out my feelings that should have stayed inside of me. I stopped from my walking to my session, a flash from that horrid night replayed in my mind. I put my hand to my temples and massaged it. My tears were dried now and I got to the unexplained door and opened it fiercely and threw my bag to the ground. When I looked up I saw Malfoy sitting in the seat that he once sat in a few weeks back. I paused and I looked at him as he looked at me.   
  
"You actually came!" I snapped. I sat down and kept massaging my head.   
  
"Yeah! So what!" he said coldly.   
  
"Just surprises me that you would want to come! I thought I talked too much!" I said, and he shrugged.  
  
" Dumbledore found out that I wasn't going to talk to you and he... got very frustrated with me. So now I HAVE to come to these stupid meetings!" he spat. I gave him a severe look as I gently kept massaging my head.   
  
" Just my luck!" I said in sarcasm.   
  
"Look Weasley! Lets get one thing straight! Don't talk to me and I wont talk to you! It'll just make it easier for us!" he said.   
  
"Fine! IF that's the way you want it! FINE!!!!" I abrupt.  
  
Malfoy hit his head to the back of the chair and slid his hand over his face. I just kept massaging my temples. 10 minutes went by and my headache grew more and more painful. I even hit my head with my hand to make it feel better but just got bigger and bigger.  
  
"Stop massaging your forehead! It's annoying me!" Malfoy snapped.   
  
" I cant I have a HEADACHE!!!" I yelled and groaned in irritation.   
  
"THEN TAKE SOME ASPIRIN!!" he yelled.  
  
"I WOULD BUT UNFORTUNELY MY BROTHER DECIDED TO ME AN ASS!!" I shouted.   
  
"OH so you finally figured out you're brother's an ass!" I would have hit him so hard right then, but I couldn't my head hurt too much.  
  
"SHUT UP! YOU BUG!" I yelled.   
  
HE scrunched up his face and looked at me, "WHAT!? I BUG? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I BUG!!! YOU BUG!!" he stated.   
  
" SINCE WHEN DO I BUG!?" I asked.  
  
"SINCE YOU WERE BORN!" he said.  
  
" YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME WHEN I WAS BORN!!" I yelled.  
  
" YEAH I DID!!!" he said crossing his arms.  
  
"GRRRRRRR...GOD YOU ARE THE MOST SELFISH, ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER LAYED EYES ON!!" I yelled.   
  
"I take that as a compliment!" he said.   
  
"God, I never should I have agreed to Dumbledore!" I muttered. Malfoy spun his head and looked at me coldly.  
  
"So Dumbledore asked you?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah! So what?" I argued.  
  
He shook his head and looked away, "Nothing!" I looked at him strangely.  
  
"You thought I did this out of my own free will?" I said.   
  
He shot a mean glare at me and said, "Of course not! Why would I think that?"   
  
"Maybe you wanted someone to actually care!" I said smoothly.  
  
" Look Weasley!" he put a lot of emphasize on the word Weasley, " I don't need anyone to care about me! I have money! I don't need someone to love me! I can just buy it!" he said selfishly.  
  
"You can't buy love, Malfoy! If its one thing I've learned its you can NEVER buy love!" I exclaimed.  
  
" Look! Why are you even trying helping me! Why did you even say yes? And why would Dumbledore ask YOU! Of all the people out of the WHOLE ENTIRE school! Why would he ask you?" he asked meanly.   
  
I looked at him hard. I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't want to expose my secret, especially to Draco Malfoy. I made up a quick lie. "Because...I'm very caring and responsible!" I didn't even look at him as I said it and the worst thing about me lying is that I always blush.   
  
"OH come on! You expect me to believe that crap!" he threw up his hands but then leaned in closer to me, "Come on Weasely! Why would Dumbledore ask you? Of all the people out of this whole entire school, why would he pick you?!" I looked at him breathing unevenly.   
  
"Come on Weasley!" he sneered, " You can tell me! After all this is supposed to be a discussion!! We're supposed to express our inner feelings!   
  
There was a moment of silence and I looked at him, trying to hold back all my anger and thoughts.   
  
"Just like a Weasley!" he sneered even more, "Can't handle the pressure of a simple question," he paused looking at me, "see you're even turning red!" I guess at this point he thought if he provoke me I would come out of the truth but I gripped tight to the chair, taking deep breathes, "YOU and your family will always be a low down good for nothing mudblood lovers! You can never come to the truth. You see you're trying to hide, but you cant, there's nowhere to run or hide! Come on don't be afraid! There's nothing you should be afraid of sweetheart-"  
  
" I WAS RAPED!!!" I was on my feet now standing up looking at Malfoy and shaking so badly. My head hurt so much that I felt it was about to explode. Malfoy just looked at my wide-eyed with his mouth opened just staring at me like I was a piece of meat. I gulped and turned my head, having my hair cover my face, looking very ashamed.  
  
"There...you happy?" I asked softly. I grabbed my bag and ran out of the room and slammed the door. I leaned the back of my head against the wall and slid down to the floor crying.  
  
  
Can my life get any worse? Can I ever escape a trap hidden inside myself? Can I ever find a right path to a maze in my mind? I shuttered to think that I would spend my whole life alone, and dying without giving someone my love.   
  
  
  
  
  
A/N Thank you so much! I'm so sorry I haven't updated, I really am. I know this chapter's kind of weird but we all have our days. I kind of used the part when everyone says Cedric's name out loud and...yeah! Anyway please review!!!! Oh and thanks to everyone who reviewed, to my last chapters. 


	4. And then it begins

A/N Hey thanks for coming back to read, I greatly appreciate it and if it's your first time reading this story I hope you like it. I think that's all I have to say. So please read and review!!  
"Dreams come and rest goes  
As these terrifying memories flow.  
Memories buried deep inside -  
I couldn't feel, I couldn't cry.  
Flashback time when I was small,  
I needed help, no one to call.  
Relive it now, it's not the same,  
But still right now, I feel the pain.  
Those memories buried far away,  
Now they're surfacing today.  
Not just a picture in a frame,  
It's a motion picture complete with pain.  
Only it's not a movie, it's not pretend.  
It really happened, again and again and again.  
I cannot breathe, I can't get free,  
It doesn't matter what happens to me.  
I can't get free, I can't escape -  
And then it was just too late.  
Stuff it down and stuff it deep  
In the darkness this will keep.  
Kill myself for I'm to blame -  
Kill myself - remove all pain.  
Cycle starts and cycle ends  
No one on whom I can depend.  
A child cries, needing to be comforted  
A child cried and now is dead.  
Hold that child, hold her tight  
Will anything ever be all right?  
Patterns made and patterns lived  
Now I've nothing left to give.  
Abuse and rape, pain and loss  
Choices mine, I pay the cost.  
So child feels pain and doesn't cry,  
No safety, no comfort, she just wants to die."  
  
~Unknown   
Memories that which lay in the past will never be relived again. You think about the mistakes you've made in the past and wish that you could wish them away, but you cant. Even with a Time Turner, or a simple spell, you'll never be able to cure the unforgettable because knowing that you did something wrong or knowing someone did something to you, will always be in your conscience or in your head. It will always be there, in your everyday life. No matter what you do or how try to forget about it, there's always something there to remind of what a lost virtue is. The past is the past, and that's it. No turning back now. These are simple mistakes, just live life and hope that maybe it will turn out ok. Maybe....just maybe.  
  
My forehead pressing against the wall hurt so badly, crying just made it worse. My eyes were blurry and red. It was just 5 minutes ago that I had ran out from Draco Malfoy. How could I be so stupid to tell him my secret? Now I just new that he was going to run out and tell the whole world that little Ginny Weasley isn't a virgin. I was really ashamed of it, but whose fault was it really? Harry? My family? The rapist? Or...me? I didn't know! (I'll think about it later) So when I finally decided to get up from the ground and cry somewhere else before someone found me, I got up really fast. You know how sometimes when you get up really fast you feel dizzy or weird. Well that's just what happened or at least I thought it was from getting up fast. My book bag was on my shoulder and all of a sudden it felt really heavy. Everything started to get fuzzy and weird. My head ached with pain, as I scrunched up my face and squeezed my head with my hands and then again, flashes from that horrid night came to mind. I breathed heavily and my knees felt weak, my head began to spin and everything was moving. My body began to shake and it got cold. All of a sudden my body just broke down and I blacked out and collapsed.   
I woke up to found myself in a comfortable, soft, white bed. I sat up very slowly, I still had a headache but it wasn't as bad. Again for the millionth time of the day (or the next day?) I put my hand to my head and massaged it gingerly. I looked around the room. It was quiet and no one was here.   
  
"Oh good Miss Weasley! You're awake!" I turned my head to see Madam Pomfrey walking towards me. She smiled and handed me a goblet to drink. I took it slowly and sighed.   
  
"What happened?" I asked. How clueless can I be?   
  
"Oh dear you fainted!" she said sadly. I raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth with shock.  
  
"I fainted?" I asked. She nodded her head and patted me on the head.   
  
"Yes, now please drink your potion." I didn't even realize that I poured some of the potion into my mouth but then realized when I spitted it out.   
  
"YUCK...What did you give me!?" I asked hoarsely.  
  
"If I told you then I have to kill you!" she laughed as I gave a worried face and plugged my nose and drank so more. When I finished I handed her back the goblet and laid back on the pillow and sighed.  
  
"You know you should thank Mr. Malfoy once you get a chance to." Madam Pomfrey said as she cleaned the goblet. I scrunched up my face, confused.  
  
"Malfoy? Why?" I asked.  
  
"Oh you don't know? Oh of course you couldn't have! How silly of me," I rolled my eyes but listened, "he was the one who brought you here." My mouth made an "O" and widened my eyes.   
I walked back to Gryffindor Tower slowly, deep in thought. Why would Malfoy do that? I mean it's THE Draco Malfoy. Slytherin Draco Malfoy, rich, greedy, Draco Malfoy. Key word here, why?  
I walked through the portrait hole to Gryffindor Common Room and looked around before I actually came in.  
No Not here. Good. As you could probably tell, I wasn't having a good day. Especially blowing up on Harry, I just felt really bad but then again he deserved it. He really did. It was late at night and I didn't eat dinner yet but I wasn't hungry, I just decided to go to bed and hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.   
I woke up the next day feeling a little better than I usually felt. I pulled off my covers, jumped out of bed and got dressed. I went down for breakfast and sat down on the bench. I looked towards the Slytherin table, looking for Malfoy and spotted him. He still looked depressed, confused, and trying to be his normal self. I looked to his right and saw someone talking to him, Blaise Zabini. It looked like she was babbling on and on about something as he ignored her. It looked kind of funny because I did the same thing to Malfoy. I kept talking and talking and sooner or later he exploded and I knew it was about to happen. And then...it did. It was like a little movie without any sound. He turned around to Blaise and said something really mean to her because he face widened with shock. He was SO telling her off. She said something back and he grew silent and got up and walked away hastily. She raised her eyebrow and smiled evilly. What was that about?  
  
I was so into that little role-play that I didn't notice someone sat down next to me. It was none other than....  
  
"Hey Gin." I turned my head quickly and saw Harry looking back at me. I rolled my eyes and went back to eating my breakfast.   
  
"Oh come one Gin! I said I was sorry and I truly am! I honestly forgot and if I would have known...about...well...you know than well I wouldn't have asked you. You know what I mean?" I slammed my utensil down on the table and looked at him with angry eyes.  
  
"You know what, Harry. I don't know what you mean!" I said. He sighed and looked away from me.   
  
"No! No! Look at me. Tell me Harry, what do you mean?" I asked once more putting my head so he could look at me.   
  
" I...I didn't mean to...look I want to ask you something." Harry said doubtfully.   
  
"What is it?" I snapped.   
  
" Well...I wanted to ask you out. If its ok with you." Harry said quickly. I broadened my eyes and looked at Harry. I've always wanted to hear him say those words to me, but it was too late. Far too late.  
  
"Its not ok- wait! I thought you were going out with Cho!" I exclaimed. He looked taken aback, and sighed again. "What's with this guy?" I asked myself.   
  
"It's not going so well right now." He said softly. I kind of felt bad for the guy but still had my angry face on.   
  
"But really Gin, I want to go out with you. You've opened my eyes and now I see the real you." He said. He grasped my hand and looked me in the eyes. He was really pathetic and I just wanted to smack him but I couldn't I was too nice.   
  
"So will you?" he asked. I thought about it for a moment and looked at him and smiled.   
  
"Ok." I said softly. He smiled at me kissed my hand.  
  
"When?" he asked.   
  
"Umm...lets see? How about November 31st?" I said sweetly. He smiled back.  
  
"Ok! Great! See you then!" he looked at me one more time and walked away looking happily.   
  
I rolled my eyes and thought, "What an idiot!". A few minutes later he came back looking very annoyed.   
  
"November doesn't HAVE a 31st!" I looked at him and smiled.   
  
"I know!" I got up from the table and walked away.  
  
And he called back, "So do you want to reschedule?" I turned around and yelled out, "NO!"  
  
"MAN!" I heard him yell and I laughed.   
  
From there on my day went pretty good. It wasn't like the day before. I actually earned points than lost points. When it finally came to go to my session with Malfoy. My heart started pounding like crazy knowing that I would have to face him. I was scared that he might look at me differently. I was scared being discriminated. I was scared of being teased and left out even more than I already am. I had second thoughts about everything, I was about to go to Dumbledore and tell him I couldn't do it anymore, but I know what he would say. So I just went to the unexplained room (that's what I started calling it so I had no other name for it). I entered slowly, nervously, and cautiously, thinking, "no going back now!"  
  
When I entered I saw him standing at the corner of the room with a book in his hand, examining it, flipping page by page. I was half way in with my hand on the doorknob, then, with a sudden glance our eyes met for a second, how could someone deceive those cold gray eyes? I looked away quickly and walked to my seat. He slammed closed the book and put it back on its shelve as he went to sit down. There it was again, he sat in his normal position with his head turned away from me.  
  
It was silent like it always has been.   
But then I broke it, " Look Malfoy-about what happened yesterday, I...I wanted to apologize!" I replied softly. He looked over at me and listened.   
  
"Yelling at you was wrong. Very wrong and..." as much as I hated doing it I said it, "I'm sorry!" I looked down looking at my hands, and I could feel his sneer and his victory.   
  
I looked up at him again and had a serious face, " The other thing! Malfoy...about yesterday, and what I told you!" he raised his eyebrow and gazed at me, "would you mind...not telling anyone. I would really appreciate it." I frowned and sighed.  
  
" You thought I told someone?" he asked. I scrunched up my eyebrows and stared at him.   
  
"I didn't say that!" I said softly. He shook his head and leaned forward towards me.  
  
" Look Weasley! I'm mean! I really am. Really mean. But I'm not pure evil!" he replied smoothly. "I didn't tell anyone if that's what you're thinking."  
  
I nodded and sighed. Then brought silence.   
  
"Malfoy?" he looked at me, "Can I ask you something?" he looked at me suspiciously; I saw him swallow hard, looking nervous.  
  
"You just did!" he snapped. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head "No".  
  
" Yes I did, but something else." I said. He looked at me hard, thinking, fighting if he should say "yes" and get over with it, or say "no" and question, the question.   
  
"Ok?" he said slowly.  
  
"Why wont you talk about her?" I asked. His face dropped out of suspicion and gave an apprehensive look, mixed with some sadness.  
  
"You think it easy talk about someone you loved so much?" he snapped. I shook my head and cowered down a little.   
  
"You don't understand do you?" he asked enraged. I didn't know what to say to him. "Yes?" "Oh of course Malfoy I understand! But then again I've never loved anyone like you!" I thought, but then I guessed that I didn't understand. I really didn't.  
  
" It was just a question. I was just wondering why, because obviously we're not getting anywhere with these sessions!" I exclaimed, " You won't talk! I'm annoyed! I'm missing class and I might actually like learning something new every day! Rather than be with YOU every Tuesday's and Wednesday's, every freaking week!" it felt so good to yell sometimes, because I felt myself yelling a lot lately.   
  
" FINE!" he yelled, he got on his feet and shouted at me "YOU want me to talk about her! You want me to tell you how I feel! OK! How about this? Pansy was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my whole entire life! When she looked at me I shuttered! I found myself thinking every time she smiled at me, 'Why would she want to love someone so cruel and disturbed!' Pansy gave me something that I couldn't explain!" his voice soften and he breathed uneasily, he walked to the corner of the room and faced the books. "She was my everything!" I got up from my seat and walked towards him slowly, as he covered his eyes and cried.  
  
"SHE WASN'T SUPPOSE TO DIE!!" he shouted as I was about to put my hand on his shoulder but then pulled away, scared he was going to hurt me.   
  
" We were suppose to live happily ever after!" he said in a low mumble. I, again, stuck out my hand and this time I put it on his shoulder, for comfort. When he finally calmed down, he realized that I put my hand on his should and took it off quickly.   
  
"Don't." he said softly. I blinked a couple of times and replied, "I'm sorry." He looked over his shoulders and stared into my eyes as if he were searching for something in particular. It felt like forever that we both stared into each other's eyes. I suddenly felt a shock of emotion that I'd never felt before, ever in my life. I couldn't explain it. It was a feeling of nervousness, but then happiness and purify at the same time. What was it? He went back to his seat and sat silent.   
  
I also went back to my sit and sat uneasy. I then looked at Malfoy again and remembered something.  
  
"Malfoy?" I asked.  
  
"What?" he murmured.  
  
"Thank you." I said quietly.   
He looked confusedly at me and asked, "For what?"   
  
"For carrying me to the hospital wing, when I fainted." He raised his eyebrows and gave a small nod.   
  
"Just...don't make it a habit!" he said. I gave him a small smile and bit my bottom lip. That feeling! What was it?   
Thinking back at that time makes me smile. It was right then that I understood Malfoy a lot more. He opened up to me, ever than he has before with anybody. I was the first to actually see the real Draco Malfoy.   
A/N Thanks for reading!!! And thanks a lot to Nathalie for being my beta reader!! I'm not sure if it's as good as the last one. Sorry if it isn't. I hope I didn't make Draco too emotional, but he's in a good condition right now, but then again I make him mean. Hehehehehe. Sorry! Oh I hope you like that November 31st thing. I thought it was funny. I read it in a story, so I don't own that quote, don't think I made that up. Thanks to all my reviewers and review again? Don't forget...Enya! 


	5. Fighting Doesnt Solve Anything

A/N Ok I'm really trying to update as soon as I can. Sorry to any one who's been waiting for me to update. So now that I have more time umm...I'm updating...lol...ok shutting up. Please review after you read.  
I'd fall and someone would be there to pick me up. I'd fall and there would be someone there to pick me up. I'd fall and there would be someone there to pick me up. I'd fall and I'd pick myself up and brush my self off and keep going.   
It's like the wind passing by through trees, there are leaves and branches that stop you from going, but by a great force or push you keep moving on, until it dies. Has your father or mother or someone special ever taught you how to ride a bike, or in my case a broom? At first you would lose balance and fall and they'd be there to pick you back up and make you brush off the cuts. I remember my father teaching me how to ride a broom. He was on with me. He told me, "Have a good grip on your broom," "Keep your balance and push off from the ground firmly," and "Whatever you do DO NOT look down; just keep flying."   
At first we flew about 3 feet from the ground, going at a mediocre speed. When he told me to try it by myself, I cried so hard telling him to "Please don't leave me! I'm not ready!". He hugged me and said, "I would never leave you, no matter what, either if it were on the earth, the world, space, or the universe, life or death. You will always have me! I know you're scared, sweetie, but remember that there will ALWAYS be someone to catch you when you fall. Someone will always be there to help you up and help you to keep on going. Okay? Don't be afraid; I'm here with you...always. I nodded and got on the broom hesitantly. "You can do this Gin!"   
  
I pushed off from the ground and held a steady grip, I leaned forward controlling the broom and making swerves and dives. Before I knew it, I was high up in the air. I felt free. "Gin!! Ok darling that's too high!" I heard my father say.   
I fell and someone helped me up. I fell and someone helped me up. I fell and someone helped me up. I fell, and there was no one to help me. I fell deeper and there was no grasp. I fell and gave up hope. I fell and people stepped all over me. You were wrong Daddy... there wasn't anyone to help me...  
Malfoy left the "unexplained room" as quickly as he could. I had no blame for him. I think it was one of the weirdest sessions we'd ever had. I stayed behind to tidy up the room and when I was done I grabbed my bag and left. I closed the door and began walking my usual pace.   
  
"GIN!" I heard someone call. I stopped and turned around. I saw my brother and Harry walking towards me. What could they possibly want now? I wondered. My brother was now in front of me with The Boy Who Lived, next to him.   
  
"Ron what are you doing out of class?" I asked surprised and also nervous. He scrunched up his face and said, "I should ask you the same question!" I rolled my eyes and said, "I have special privileges."   
  
" Special privileges? Since when?" he asked furiously. "Gin I don't think you should be going around about, alone when nobody's around. It's not safe, especially for you!"   
  
I sighed and said, "Ron stop being overprotected!"   
  
"I'm not being overprotective. I'm just trying to look at for you. I promised mum I would watch after you since-"   
  
" That's not the point. I asked you a question which you haven't answered yet!" It had been obvious that I wanted to change the subject for some time now, and so I did. How could Ron be so careless?   
  
"Me and Harry have to run an errand for Lupin." "Damn!" I thought. I'm in deep shit. If he saw Malfoy and I come out of that same room he would defiantly get the wrong idea.   
  
"Oh...ok then! Well, I really should start on my homework, I have quite a lot-" I began to turn around and RUN away but Ron grabbed me. I stopped and looked at his hand holding my arm. I looked up at him angrily.   
  
"Get you hand off me!" I scolded. He winced and gingerly let go of my arm. I took my arm away quickly and folded my arms. I looked down at the floor feeling very awkward. I guess he too felt the tension and started a new conversation.   
  
" Gin, I just saw Malfoy and he came out of a room over there." He pointed to a door next to us and I gulped.   
  
"And?" "Please be stupid, Ron, and don't figure it out!" I thought to myself. What a desperate need for a prayer!   
"And I saw you come out of that same room just a few minutes after him!" I closed my eyes and breathed heavily. My hand flew to my forehead and rubbed it.  
  
"And?" I asked.   
  
"And!? And I want to know why?" He hollered. Just then the bell rang and students started coming out of the classroom, laughing and enjoying them selves. People passing us by-shoving and pushing each other. It was always like that at Hogwarts when the bell rang and every one would rush out of the classroom. There was so many students that people would jostling into you. Ron, Harry and I stayed in our positions motionless.   
  
"Well?" he asked impatiently. I looked up at him furiously.   
  
"That's none of your damn business!' I snapped. His face grew red and his fists tided. I wasn't afraid of him, anymore. I held my bag closer and grasped it tighter in my grip.   
  
"It is so my business! When it has to do with Malfoy and my baby sister, I make it my business!" he threatened.   
  
" This is none of your concern Ron, drop it!" I yelled back. We were starting to make a scene, every one watched as we fought.  
  
"Ginny! What were you doing in there with Malfoy!? What is there a bed in there or something?" He walked over to the door that led to the "unexplained room" and tried opening it but failed. He shook the doorknob and banged the door with his fist.   
  
"RON!" I yelled and crossed over to him. "STOP IT! There's not a bed in there! There are just books and chairs!" I yelled but he didn't listen to me. He took out his wand and said "Alohomora" but instead of it opening, the door made a BANG and threw Ron back and fell to the ground. Harry and I ran to him and knelt down beside him to pick him up.   
  
"Come on buddy! Wake up!" Harry patted Ron's cheek and shook him awake. Ron groaned and opened his eyelids. Harry grabbed his hands and pulled him up to stand. Ron shook his head but was too off balance to hold him self up.   
  
"Whoa! What just happened?" he asked.   
  
I stomped my foot and threw up my hands, "Ron, you idiot! You tried to open the freaking door and instead you got thrown back!" I yelled.   
  
"Oh right!" Ron remembered. "Yes. . . well. . . I want an explanation!"   
  
"Damn it Ron, leave me and Malfoy be! This is none of your business. You have to trust me on this!" I yelled, feeling the blood in my body rushing to my cheeks. I was surprised that there weren't any teachers around to stop this fight between my brother and me but I didn't care, Ron was being a bastard and I had to deal with it.   
  
" Watch your tongue Missy and how can I trust you anymore when you're sneaking off with Malfoy! So stop being so stubborn!" Every one fell quiet and was shocked to hear that Ron Weasley would say such a thing to his own sister. His own blood relative. His only baby sister. I relaxed my body and looked down, too ashamed to look at him; his words really hurt me Of course why anyone wouldn't be able to trust me...I have the worst luck in the world.   
  
I held back my tears and but on an emotionless face. I wondered how Ron felt then because if I felt bad he must have felt ten times worse. " I'm not being stubborn, Ron! If you would only understand then maybe you could trust me." Ron looked angry again, but he wasn't looking at me he was looking beyond me. I turned around to see who he was looking at and then I new why he got angry. He saw Malfoy.  
" Ron don't!" Don't you dare!" It was useless; he was already heading towards Malfoy. Harry and I went after him. Malfoy was at the edge of the Transfiguration room, walking with Crabbe and Goyle. Ron turned Malfoy around and punched him across the face.   
  
"RON!" I yelled. I couldn't believe what he was doing. Why did my life have to suck so badly?  
  
Malfoy fell to the ground, trying his best to support himself with his hands. Crabbe and Goyle looked mad, they tried to help Malfoy up, but he pushed them away. Malfoy spit out blood and wiped it away with his sleeve. He got up from the ground but only just, his back was arched his hands on his knees, and his breathing became uneasy as he put his sleeve on his cut lip.  
  
I glanced at Ron, who was shaky his hand as if he burned it. His knuckles were all red and looked numb. Ron gave out a little squeak of pain.   
  
Crabbe and Goyle were punching their hands about to strike but Malfoy put out his hands to stop them. He stood up straight and told them to leave.   
  
"What?" they asked dumbly.   
  
"LEAVE!" he yelled. Goyle and Crabbe grunted and walked towards me and shoved me with their elbows. I gave them a dirty look but instantly looked back to my situation before me.   
  
"What was that for Weasley!?" Malfoy yelled.   
  
"For sleeping with my sister!" I opened my mouth in horror. I turned to look at Malfoy to see his expression on his face, but to my surprise he looked amused.   
  
"RONALD WEASLEY!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Ron turned to me.  
  
"Well it seemed like the only conclusion. The door wont open, you wont tell me what you and Malfoy do in 'that' room! What else do you have to think." Harry let out a sigh. He wasn't talking very much and I didn't know why but that wasn't the problem, Ron was being the stubborn one here.   
  
"Who's paying who?" Ron asked. I stomped my foot and I felt my face going all red.   
  
"RON!!!!! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!" I screamed.  
  
"Well I know you wouldn't do it for free!" Ron said.  
  
Malfoy started to laugh and for that I was mad at him. But then stopped and looked at me and when he looked at me I felt a sudden shock, "We cant hide anymore-" Malfoy said softly. I looked at him in horror and thought he went mad. "Ginny..." He said my name very seductively and looked at me with this look in his eyes. That just...whoa! Wait...did he just say my name? I like how he says it-Ginny, that's not the point! What was he think? This is bad. This is very bad.  
"OH MY GOD!" I yelled in disbelief.   
  
"WHAT!?" Ron yelled.   
  
"I knew that we couldn't hide our love for each other 'Ginny'. It was only a matter of time that someone found out!" He started to walk towards me and I just starred at him in horror.   
"Oh dear lord this is actually happening to me!" I thought.   
  
"You mean its true?" Ron said hoarsely.   
  
"NO!!" I screamed.  
  
"'Ginny', stop lying you know its true...we shouldn't hide anymore!" he said sweetly.   
  
"ITS NOT TRUE AND STOP SAYING MY NAME THAT WAY!" He just smiled at me devily.   
  
"What way." He said softly.   
  
"That way and stop fooling around!" I said.   
  
"Who's telling the truth?" Ron asked.   
  
"I am." Malfoy and I said in unison. We looked at each other and then at Ron.   
  
" Mal-" Ron began.   
  
"Look Weasel!! I didn't sleep with your filthy sister! Trust me I could do MUCH better than her!" Malfoy finally admitted. I felt myself go red again. For some reason I felt slightly hurt, but why should I? I didn't care about Malfoy...well in that way. Or did I? I wasn't sure what I felt.   
  
"You shut your mouth Malfoy!" Ron said shaking his index finger at him. Malfoy laughed again, "Make me!" he said, crossing his arms. Ron stayed quiet unsure of what to say.   
  
"What are you going to do? Poke me with your finger? Trust me Weasel, hit me again and you'll be sorry. For sure." Ron gave an evil glare at Malfoy.  
  
" What are you going to do if I do?" Ron asked daringly.   
  
Malfoy sneered. "Let's just see if your precious baby sister is as innocent as you think." He strutted my way, in his usual manner, and, for some stranger reason, winked. All I could think was, "HOLY SH-"   
  
"Don't you dare touch my sister!" Ron stood between Malfoy and me and I just looked over Ron's shoulder.   
  
"Trust me I wouldn't want to touch your sister even if we were the last two people on the face of the earth!"  
  
  
"Is there a problem here.' We all turned around and there stood Professor Lupin, looking at us quizzically.   
  
"Uh...no sir were just talking." Harry talked, finally. Ron moved away from Malfoy and me and stood next to Harry.   
  
"Well, I see. It seems you two took so long on running the errand I thought something might have happened." Lupin said, with his hands behind his back. Professor Lupin came back to teach at Hogwarts, only that year. Although, not too many parents were happy about this- a werewolf teaching their children how to defend themselves when their teacher could strike at any moment. Not that he was a bad person. Why Remus Lupin was the greatest teacher there was. It's just what if the moon came up and students were around and he would transform to his dark side? It would have been very dangerous, but then again, that only happens during the night. Lupin looked very tired, and shabby. His hair a brownish, blondish, grayish color. Yes, he was getting older, but he still looked as friendly as ever.   
  
"Umm...I think we better go Ron." Harry said to Ron. Ron looked at Malfoy and me one last time and left with Lupin. It was only Malfoy and I now. Malfoy took his sleeve off his lip and left it alone for a while. We were quiet for a minute when an unexpected someone came.   
  
A girlish laugh came from behind Malfoy; more like a squeakish laugh came from behind Malfoy and then I saw Millicent Bulstrode. Ok, before I go on with my story, I should tell you something about Millicent Bulstrode. I guess over the summer she realized that nobody liked her and that she was fat, so she decided to loose about five hundred pounds and get a make over. Her hair wasn't a curly blonde any more; it was straight and layered. She was a stick now, skinny like a tree, and had the boys drool all over her now. It was disgusting. Anyway back to my story.   
  
I rolled my eyes when Millicent stopped next to us with a group of boys behind her, holding her books.   
  
"Well looky what we have here, a Malfoy with a Mudblood lover." She looked at Malfoy first then at me with disgust.   
  
"What do you think you're doing Draco with a Mudblood lover and of all the people...a Weasley?" Millicent said pompously.   
  
" Bulstrode, go fuck yourself!" Millicent just laughed evilly.   
  
"Alright Draco, I'll go away but only this time." She looked at me, and said, "Watch your back Weasley. Stay away from him if you know what's good for you!" She pushed me and kicked my bag, making all my books, quills, and parchment fall out. When Millicent was officially gone I groaned and knelt on the floor picking everything up.   
  
I guess Malfoy was trying to figure out if he should be a good friend and help me out, but when I looked up at him from the ground our eyes locked. A sense of sympathy and guilt ran between us, he looked so helpless. His cold gray pale eyes, softened. I looked away from him, not knowing whether to trust him anymore or not. I could sense his eyes on me and my face reddened. He began to turn hesitantly, I raised my head to him, wanting to offer my help, only to find him walking away and leaving me behind  
I wondered why he just left me, but then I just realized that he was only starting to heal.   
A/N Wow that was only like one part...ok don't worry I'm going to start on the 6th chapter. I keep trying to make Malfoy mean, but I'm not sure if I'm doing a great job of it. I feel really bad for Ginny, don't you? Yeah well I hope you liked it. Please Review!!!!  
  
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	6. A Night At The Lake

A/N I'm really trying to update as fast as I can but please be patient, I'm sorry to anyone who waits FOREVER for this story to update. So please review after you read. Oh and a couple of days ago when I was rereading the first chapter of Lost Virtues and I realized I put it was Ginny's second year when she came across the Tom Riddle's diary, ok scratch that because I have no idea what I was thinking. So don't get mixed up because it was in her first year when she poured out her soul to the diary. Don't get mad at me I'm so stupid! Lol its funny though once you think about it. Ok back to the chapter. Don't forget to review after reading.   
Have you ever woke up early in the morning and just laid in your bed and think of wonder and possibility? Have you ever just breathed in fresh air and have this sudden feeling of content and warmth? Have you ever gone outside and look up at the stars in the sky, and let the wind blow in your face, thinking maybe somewhere out there, there can be a place where you can fall asleep peacefully with out worrying about anything. There is no such place, because I know, maybe in our thoughts, dreams, and fantasy. I've wished every night that I could be in a place of happiness, but with the luck that I have...wishes never come true. I sit still in my chair writing about my past and looking out the window watching the wind blow through the trees, making the green leaves move differently every second, and the sky as blue as can be. It's beautiful, life is beautiful, its just some people don't see it... instead they just throw it away.   
  
After my interesting encounter with Ron, Harry and Malfoy, I walked back upstairs to my dorm room and threw my bag on my bed not caring if all my books spilled out. I was tired and angry. What a beautiful combination that makes! I sat on the edge of my bed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. I felt another one of my headaches coming on. I took off my old and shabby cloak, and laid down softly and fell into a deep asleep.   
  
"Ginny?"   
  
"Ginny?" I felt a hand on my body shaking me, trying to wake me up. My eyes shot open and looked around to see one Lavender Brown, a seventh year like my brother. She looked at me with an emotionless face.   
  
"You're brother sent me up here to get you. It's just about time for dinner." She said informingly. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a couple of times to get my head straight. "Wait...Ron...Malfoy...fighting...yelling." I thought.   
  
" Why does Ron have to be my brother?" I groaned. Lavender laughed.  
  
"Well, you can't blame me. I had nothing to do with it! If you want to complain, you should go to your parents." She said. I should my head and laughed.  
  
"I heard about what happened to you and your brother today." Lavender said, who sat down on the opposite bed of me. I sat up and laid my head on the headboard.   
  
"Who hasn't heard!?" I said, "I wouldn't be surprised if the whole school knew by now."   
  
"Well...the whole school DOES know." I whipped my head to Lavender, my eyes bulging out of my head, as if in shock   
  
"T...T...The WHOLE school?" I asked, my voice cracking.   
  
"Pretty much." She said, "I'm sorry Ginny but you know how people are."   
  
"Yeah." I said quietly, "I know how people are."   
  
"If you don't mind Ginny, I'm quite hungry, would you mind-"  
  
"Oh no, go ahead Lavender, I'm sorry." Lavender got up and headed to the door and left. I looked around to see if anyone was there and it looked like it was just me. "Not a surprise!" I thought. I grabbed my pillow and buried my face in it and screamed, "Damn it Ron!"   
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As I headed down to The Great Hall, people started pointing and whispering. Ugh! I hate when people do that. It's so annoying, especially if it's about you. Sometimes you just want to turn around and shout "SHUT UP!!" and maybe just punch them, but I'm too innocent to do that. "There she goes." "Poor Ron having a sister like that." I calmed down before entering The Great Hall and as soon as I entered I felt every ones eyes fall on me. I sat down on the very edge of the Gryffindor table and looked at my empty plate. I wasn't hungry. "I'm never hungry." I said to myself.   
  
I looked to my left and saw Colin Creevey. 'Poor thing,' is all I can think as he took all of his food and put it in his mouth. Watching him eat made me even less hungry. He looked at me and I gave a fake smile and he smiled back, with mash potatoes all of his face and gravy all around his mouth. Just hearing him eat made me want to gag. I frowned and took a bread stick from the selection and ate slowly trying to distract myself from a certain some ones awful eating habits.   
  
I sighed and looked at the Slytherin table and my eyes fell on Malfoy. Not on purposely though! I mean it just so happened that my eyes went to the Slytherin table and unexpectedly fell on him. Or did it? I wasn't sure, I wasn't thinking, its not like I had feelings for someone who was cruel, sly and cunning. "Perfect traits for a Slytherin." I thought. Millicent Bulstrode was deep in conversation with Malfoy. Well it looked like Millicent was the one who was doing all the talking with, Malfoy looked liked he was about to fall asleep. His eyes traveled up and met mine. He stared at me; he raised one eyebrow, looking intrigued. I quickly looked away from his pale, gray and cold eyes.   
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It was about 11:00 when I quietly sneaked out the Gryffindor Tower. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would have been. I didn't see any signs of Mrs. Norris.   
  
Every time I felt sad, angry, or stressed, I would go to the lake where a tree sat to think. You probably remember it from that time I told you, when I slipped and fell in to the lake while Pansy and Malfoy were having...umm, "human physical interactions." I never really told you about that tree. Of course it was big and everything, but for some reason it felt like that tree had been planted there for me and me only. It was my own little spot that I loved. I call it, " my fortunate spot that I get to have". Pretty lame huh? Anyway, when I got to, "my fortunate spot that I get to have" I climbed up the tree and sat on a branch. It was a bit, weak and old, but I still sat on it looking at the glistening stars. I smiled and wished I were up there, in space...I wished I were a star. I sighed and closed my eyes.   
  
There was a ruffling of leaves behind me. Some one was there. I didn't want to look down I was scared it was a death eater coming to murder me. I kept my eyes shut tight and held tighter on to the branch as tight as I could until my knuckles turned white. "I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die." I chanted in my head and just then it just so happened that my bad luck started to act up again. The long, thick branch I was sitting on started to crack, because it wasn't used to so much weight. "Oh god help me!"   
  
CRACK  
  
THUMP  
  
"OUCH!" I had landed on my arse. My hair flew over my face and into my mouth. "ughhh..." I groaned.   
  
"Weasley?" "What? Oh no, please telling me this is not-" I flipped my hair out of my face and my widened my eyes.   
  
"Malfoy?" I asked. He looked at me strangely as I just laid there dumbfounded.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked surprised.   
  
"Oh well...I-uhh-a-tree...branch ... fell?" I answered. I sat up slowly and heard a crack as I straightened my back.   
"Ow." I whispered painfully.  
  
"Weasley, what are you doing here!?" he asked in a furious voice. I gawked at him with my mouth opne, what a thing to say after an accident that could've ended my life!  
  
"Well that's very cheerful thing to say to a girl who has just fallen from a one-hundred foot tree and almost broke her back, because you know what? I'm not that important, am I? Oh! No, but enough about me, lets talk about you!" I said. Malfoy sighed and sat down next to me, his face relaxing as he looked up at me.  
  
"Are you ok?" he breathed softly, like as if he actually cared. I looked at him astonished of his supposed "sympathy". I frowned and as I looked up into his handsome pale face. My eyes traveled to his bruised lip that he had got earlier from my 'overprotective brother'. Poor thing.   
  
"I'm fine." I muttered. I looked away and stretched my back-oh I knew it was going to be very sore the next day.   
  
"So what are you doing out here Weasley? A little girl, such as you, shouldn't be wondering the grounds at night, something terrible might happen!" he said. I raised an eyebrow and opened my mouth.   
  
"Do you see me as a little girl?" I asked hoping I would hear what I wanted to hear from those beautiful-oh so kissable lips. He shrugged, picked up a pebble and threw it into the lake making small waves three times. He smiled revealing those perfect, pearly, shiny, white teeth.  
.   
  
"Does it matter what I think?" he asked. I thought for a moment thinking of a really good answer.   
  
" Well...it would be nice to have someone think of me as a grown mature adult other than a small innocent little girl." I answered. He scrunched up his eyebrows.   
  
"Who think you're still a small innocent little girl?" he asked.   
  
"Oh I can name a lot of names. Just off the top of my head: Ron, who thinks I'm still his small baby- sister that has to hold his hand everywhere he goes. Harry, who acts like a brother to me, but who actually wants to date me," I shuddered of the thought, "my m-"  
  
"Wait, Potter wants to date you?" he asked. I looked at him, quite shocked really; I could smell a hint of jealously. I wanted to laugh and make fun of him but I knew it wouldn't be right.   
  
"Yes, but I don't want to date him." He looked very confused," I'm not interested in him anymore."  
  
"Why not? You've been his shadow since as long as I could remember!" he cleared his throat and put on a girly voice, " 'Harry, I love you!', 'Harry, you have such beautiful eyes!', 'Harry, let me spit on your shoe!', 'Harry, your face is dirty let me clean if off for you!', 'Harry! Harry, Harry! God you were just as obsessed with him as that Creevey kid."   
  
"I was not like that!" he eyed me and I blushed, " well at least I wasn't as obsessed as Colin, I mean. It was a stupid silly crush. I cant believe I liked that jerk!' I said. I saw from the corner of my eye that Malfoy's ears perked up once I said Harry was a jerk.   
  
"Why now?" he asked. I scrunched my eyebrows.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked.   
  
"Why do realize now that he's a jerk?" he asked. I moved uncomfortably and started playing with the grass.  
  
"Because..." I mumbled.   
  
"Because why?" All I could think at that moment was, "Don't pressure me Malfoy." It was bad enough that he knew about the rape but me telling him the WHOLE story was just unbearable. I've always wondered why I was so comfortable talking with Malfoy, and why Malfoy was so comfortable talking with me but it seemed we had so much to talk about that made it easier to talk to each other. It took me a few moments to answer him but, I got the guts to finally pour my heart out to him, I choked back tears.   
  
"Remember how I told you I was r..ra...raaa-"   
  
"Yeah." He said, I looked up at him thankfully and then looked back down to the grass childishly.   
  
" I never told you the whole story." I closed my eyes and sighed. "It was during the summer, Parvarti Patil had a party-"   
  
Malfoy once again cut my sentence and began to talk, "I went to that party!" I grinned and went back to my story.   
  
"Ron was invited, and my mom made him take me. So he did, and there were a lot of people! I mean A LOT! It was a bit too smoky inside for my liking, so I went out side. I saw Harry and Cho talking hanging out and he called me over. He told me to meet him at the Dragons Inn at 10:00. He wanted to ask me something." I paused for a moment and smiled sadly, " Oh god, I was so excited that I even went early. I waited and waited for him, but he never showed. I started to walk back to Parvati's house when I took a wrong turn...I ended up in a dark alley, where I met my...my ra..." I tried so hard to choke back tears, but I could already feel them streaming down my cheeks.   
  
"It's ok you don't have to go on if you don't want to." Malfoy finally said.   
  
"I want to." I breathed and continued talking, " He beat me...kissed me forcefully...hurt me...and kept calling me sweetheart. That's why I get so offended when people call me that. I never want to think about it, but some how it's always there to remind me. I don't know why. It's just like a really bad dream that I can't erase. It won't go away." I exhaled and inhaled a couple of times to relieve the pain. How could I ever relieve pain such as that? I still don't know how to relieve the pain.   
  
"Oh." Malfoy said quietly.   
  
We were quiet for a few moments, not talking to each other, just looking up at the sky illuminated by the moonlight. The moon was showing brightly and I the stars were shining as bright as they could. The sound of the wind, passed through my ears. I felt one with myself again. That always seemed to release stress from anger.   
  
"You still haven't answered my question." Malfoy finally spoke.   
  
"Which question?" I asked.   
  
" What are you doing here?" he asked once more. I rolled my eyes and bent my legs and put my chin on top of my knee.   
  
" I should ask you the same question." I said.   
  
"But I asked you first." He answered smirking.   
  
I sighed and looked at the tree next to me, "I always go down here to this tree, I call it, "my fortunate spot that I get to have." Malfoy looked at the tree and scrunched up his angelic face.  
  
" Very...intriguing name." He said slowly.  
  
"It's stupid, but I love it." I answered while starring at the tree.   
  
"Why are YOU here?" I asked. He shrugged again picked up a leaf and started shredding it up into pieces.  
  
" I just felt like taking a walk." He said quietly.  
  
" To the lake? Is this Draco Malfoy talking?" I teased. After the leaf was torn up to little pieces he picked up another one and repeated his shredding.  
  
" Look would you rather walk inside or outside!?" he asked very annoyed. I shook my head and cowered a little. He sighed and put his hand to his lip.   
  
"Shit." He swore. I looked up at him again.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked.   
  
"Nothing." He tried to hide the pain as turned his head away from me and covered his lips with his hand but I stopped him. I grabbed his hand that covered his bruised lip and turned his face.   
  
"Let me see." I said, but he tried getting out of my grip.   
  
"Malfoy, stop! Let me see!" he wouldn't have it; he moved his head trying to dodge my hand.  
  
"No!" he said struggling.  
  
"Malfoy stop being such a baby!!" I exclaimed.   
  
" NO!" he said. I had enough of his churlish acts, so...I pinched him in the arm.   
  
"OUCH!" He stopped and rubbed up arm, which was covered with a cloak.   
  
"What was that for!!" he yelled.   
  
I crossed my arms and said," For being such a baby!"   
  
"Well you didn't have to pinch me that hard!!" he said massaging his arm.   
  
"Oh go cry to your mum. Now let me see!" I turned his chin quickly and looked at his bruised lip. I examined it, closely, turning his head different ways. I could feel his pale gray eyes on me. But I didn't bother to notice it. His lip was really bad, swollen and purple. I didn't realize how close we were, but I could feel his breath on my face. I touched his lips with my hand touching it gently around the cut.   
  
"It's swollen." I said softly. I looked up into his eyes, which were already on me, and smiled softly. He took my hand that was on his face and put it on top. I quickly took my hand off his face. I turned to look at the lake again.  
  
"You should have Madam Pomphrey look at it. It could get worse." I replied. I could still feel Malfoy's eyes on me as I sat still.  
  
"Thanks," he whispered.  
  
My heart just broke. It wasn't his fault that my brother went after him. He never started the fight. It wasn't his fault that no one stopped my brother from hitting him. I have no idea why I felt this way, but I felt that I should feel this way.   
  
I broke into tears, "I'm so sorry Malfoy!" I looked at him with blurry eyes, and he looked baffled at my sudden out burst.   
  
"I'm sorry for my brother! He just...doesn't understand! He...he could never understand. He's just so damn protective of me. He keeps getting the wrong ideas with every thing. I wish he would see that I've grown up. That I'm not a little baby anymore! I don't need him on my back every 5 minutes!" My tears started to become in to hate, but then buried myself in to my hands.   
  
I knew Malfoy didn't know what to do. He looked at me helplessly as if I needed to go to a mental institution. Why would I blame him, I would feel the same way too. I stopped crying after minutes, and began hiccupping.   
  
"I'm *hiccup* sorry." I said to him.   
  
"It's ok I don't care." He shrugged. How thoughtful of him. I thought.   
  
" Malfoy..." I asked. He lifted his head to me and stared.   
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
I paused for a few moments and began, "Why is it that every time *hiccup* we're in public you hate me, and when its just the two of us *hiccup* all of a sudden you're this totally different person?" He sighed and relaxed his shoulders.   
  
"Weasley...its difficult to understand." He explained, "I have a reputation to hold up to and I can't just throw it all away for someone like you!" I shifted uncomfortably and listened.   
  
"The Malfoy's and Weasley's never got along. I would be an embarrassment to the Malfoy family if they found out I treated a Weasley like an equal." I turned to him, with an emotionless face.   
  
"Reputation is real important to you then." He nodded, "Then how come you don't act all goody-goody- when it's just you and the trio?" I asked.  
  
"Because I literally despise the trio. Walking around solving mysteries, saving the school, no thanks its not for me." I gave a small laugh. It was true; Harry, Ron and Hermione would always go around solving mysteries and saving the school, we should be thankful for that. I guess.   
  
"Look Weasel, I'm going to head back up the castle. I think you should too. It's just about 1:00 in the morning." I yawned and nodded.   
  
"Thank God tomorrows Friday." I said getting up from the grass.   
  
"Yeah." He said. We started to walk back to the castle, cautiously and quietly.   
  
"Hey Draco-I MEAN MALFOY! Not Draco...Malfoy...it's Malfoy...not Draco." I started to blush and he started laughing.   
  
"Just choose one and stop wasting my time," he said. I smiled, and blushed harder.   
  
" Draco. I mean Draco." I finally said.   
If that wasn't the greatest night I've ever had. I don't know what night was as good as that one. That night Draco and me had a real connection. I don't think I've ever talked to anyone like that before. It was the actual first time I talked about my rape and it felt good. It felt really good. Even though I knew he probably didn't care as much as he does now. He was changing, and I could see it, and feel it. I've watched it.   
  
  
  
A/N Wow I really think that might've been the longest chapter...I'm not sure. But I know this one was and "eh" but I hope you enjoyed it. Please Review. 


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